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Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in Piss Vampires' LiveJournal:

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
12:31 am
As others have posted hyre, I feyr that manie of you are indeed mundaynes, despycaple poseurs merely pretendyng to be pyssvampyrys! Why else do thy not post hyre? Do thy hast no conceptyon of the DARQUE? To be DARQUE thy hast to wryte of the DARQUENESS WYTHYN, for if it is kept wythyn the DARQUENESS will consume even the very TOILYT OF DOOM!!1 (the one in the underpass of St. James Barton Roundabout)

Yes, the DARQUENESS will take over ALL THYNGES! None shalt be sparyd, but many will be spray'd! Foolish mortals! By not giving this syte the proper attentiyon, thy bringest on thyne OWN DOOM!!1

PS - It is not spelt Pissvampires OR Pissvampyres but PYSSVAMPYRYS! Stupid mundaynys!1!

Current Mood: pissed off (not in a good way)
Thursday, October 30th, 2008
1:37 am
Hello everyone. This is your Dark Lord speaking
Greetings, fellow PissPyres and associated Tinklings! I am Dark Lord Of The Pisspyres, Rayven Darkness McBlack of Nyte! BOW BefORE MY wIddLing!

About me:

I have Drunk from the Toylet of Darkness... the One numbered 666. I have pissed into many things (and people, Turning them to be mine Dark Servantes over many, many millenia).

My plans for the future:

I have drunk the piss of MILLIONS!!!11 and now Our Kind shall Rise. We, the Dark Army of Those Whose Need Is Never Satisfied, shall begin our takeover tonight, at the public lavatories in St. James Bartons Roundabout. Be there if you wish to join the winning side, otherwise... RUN MORTAL MUNDAYNES, RUN!!!1

For truly, the streets will flow with yellow froth tonight...! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Current Mood: exanimate
Thursday, September 8th, 2005
1:27 pm
I am disgusted.
Contemptable posers. You claim to be TRUE pissvampyres, but you do not even know the real meaning of the word. I, Mistress Darkraven Goldenstream, am a REAL pissvampyre. Unlike you foolish mortals, I have lived a THOUSAND YEARS. I have seen empires fall, and have tasted the glittering excretions of heroes and kings. I have stalked the frightful shadows at the far corners of the earth, from the misty mountains of the Orient to the Port-O-Potties at Altimont. I have drunk hundreds of thousands of gallons of urine in my vast lifetime, many more than you mere INFANTS in your ridiculous pretendings.

But please, do continue in your foolish masquerade. I find it amusing.

P.S.- It is spelt pissvampyres, not pissvampires. Real vampyres would know that.

Current Mood: irritated
Monday, August 22nd, 2005
1:51 am
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
12:55 pm
An Haiku
Thirstily I lurk
Greyhound station urinals
Nothing gay 'bout that
Thursday, August 18th, 2005
11:46 pm
"You must excuse me, but I have already dined. And I never drink wine." - The Queen Of The Damned
The time for secrecy is over, and it is time I reveal myself unto the world! I am a Piss Vampyre's Familiar. I have sworn my self to my loamy masters and in return for my servitude they grant me but a small inkling of their powers. But be aware! For although I may but a pale golden shadow of a TRUE PISSPYR my powers are still much greater than that of any mere mundayne hymyn!

Every night, in the deepest darkness of its black darkness, my Master comes and grants me a terrible gift. He bid I drink from his very stream and gain a taste of his frothy power. My strength, speed, agility, and quickness all increase a thousand folds! I become enchanted with a compelling musky odor, one that MERE PITIFUL NORMAL WAGESLAVES find to be strangely alluring! And as long as I drink from my master's Golden Font I shall never age nor die!

With his gift I am bound unto his will and must perform what tasks are too lowborn or unpleasant for his sensibilities. Yesterday I took his dodge dart into the shop and did argue that the oil filter replacement is an included fee! Having gained a small modicrum of my master's pissiplines I found bending the clerk to my will to be AN EASY TASK INDEED.

But now the MIDNIGHT HOUR approaches and I can hear my master's flowing call! I shall garb myself in cruisy leather and vinyl and go forth to the HIGHWAY 44 REST STOP where I will SEDUCE AND LURE further victims into my master's EMBRACE OF FEEDING! He will drain their yellow humors!

Feel free to say hi! I'll be in the far stall if I'm not near the automated coffee machine! ^_^

Current Mood: Thirsty!
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
4:32 pm
Eternal Pissing

My soul was damned!
by that lone pee kiss

Can't stop to think
of things I'll miss

I only think of piss
I was turned
by piss

Current Mood: morose
Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
3:13 pm
"Allow Me To Introduce Myself, I Am A Man of Wealth And Taste" -Anne Rice
I Bid You Good Greetings.

My Name is Lord GrimNyte TinkleFire. To Understand Me One Must Forget What One Has Seen Of These Foolish Films That The Mundane Sheep We Feed Upon Unmercilissly Waste Their Pitiful Short Lifes Upon. To Know The Face of The True Piss Vampyre (I Wish To Clarify In This Gothick Missive The Difference Between The Piss Vampires Here And Myself, A True Piss Vampyre) Is To Know The Face Of The Darkly Beautiful Being That Must Travel The Endless Eons of Time Making One's Peace With One's Cursed Nature. But Do Not Test Our Temper, Mundanes, For In An Instant We Shall Be Upon You With A Savage Thirst And Drain Your Pitiful Mortyl Bladder Into a Soulless Husk.

Those Who Think We Can Not Survive In The Light Are FOOLS. While We Prefer To Stalk Our Victims At Turnpike Rest Areas And The Fire Island Hunting Grounds By The Cover Of Night, We Will Not Burst Into Flame As The Sheep Of Hollywood Wish You To Believe. It Merely Discomforts Us And Irritates Our Eyes, Which Is Why Most Of Our Kind Wear Sunglasses Or Dark Eyeshadow To Block Out The Brightness.

Those Who Believe We Can Be Killed By A Stake In The Urethra Are FOOLS. Yet Another Foolish Rumor It Makes Me *Grin* In Gothick Dark Delight to Dispel. While Such A Device Would Paralyze Our Kind Until Removed, The Only Way To Fully Destroy A Piss Vampyre Is To Consecrate A Portable Toilet, Immobilize One Within, And Strike It With A Pure Hammer In Order To Tip It Over. Only Then Will The Undying Tinkle Lord Meet One's Final Ending. That, And Dialysis.

Those Who Believe We Can Be Repelled With Urinal Cakes Are ONLY SOMEWHAT FOOLS. Such Contraptions Will Only Function If The Wielder Truly Believes In Its Function As An Effective Toilet Sanitizer, Which Will Force The Piss Vampyre To Avert One's Gaze From The Object. Combined With a Novelty Urinal Cover Resembling Targets And/Or Game Spinners Will Cause Our Kind To Howl In Agony, Which Is Why We Often Retain Familiars To Remove These From Our Presence. Familiars Resemble Our Fragile Mortyl Hosts, But Live In Our Servitude As Slaves To The Cravings Of Getting All Soaked Up. They Are Useful Tools, Nothing More.

Finally, Those Who Call Themselves Piss Vampires Rather Than Piss Vampyres are FOOLS. Obviously Such People Are Lifestylers And Poeseurs Of The Most Shameful Caliber. To Believe That One Is Made Through An Exchange Of The Sanguine Dark Delight of Piss Is Foolish Beyond All Foolery. Those Who Are Not Born True Piss Vampyres Like Myself Are Created When One Urinates Into a Toilet That a True Piss Vampyre Has "Turned Yellow And Remained Mellow". In Three Days They Will Undergo The Change And Be Filled With A Thirst For The Frothy Amber Essence That Fuels Our Immortyl Curse.

Darkness Now Soon Falls, And I Must Disappear In A Shroud Of Similar Yet Somewhat Slightly Darker Darkness To Seek Out Those Who Quench My Thirst. If One Wishes To Understand What Drives My Dark Soul Further, I Shall Be On The Hunt. In The Palmer Valley Mall's Family Restroom. It Resides Within A Flapping Of Hellbound Wyngs From The Orange Julius.
Monday, August 15th, 2005
7:14 pm
The nyte will soon be here and I awaken. The hunger gnaws at my gullet. Soon I will be out there wandering the parks and malls, lurking near the public restrooms, my ancient glamour obscuring my presence to passers by. Soon I will feed, the golden nectar that I need is a challenge to acquire even for a masterful predator such as I. I see my victim a young man perhaps in his twenties walking in a fashion that I have become so familiar to in my hundreds of years, legs pressed together so as to put pressure on the bowels is enough to keep the sweet elixir I crave from spilling out on the front of his jeans. He enters the restroom with me close behind him; the fragrance of spilled life liquid hits my senses. The hunger grows I can no longer stand it I spring at him and tear his pants off. I pull him away from the urinals far away he must not be allowed to get to the urinal cakes as the are anathema to my kind my own sire was killed by one. I feed quickly then use my mind control powers, honed threw innumerable nights of practice; I erase his memories of the event so that I can maintain my arcane presence in the world. So much wasted fluid, but an infinity of nights to consume it.
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